Wanted to start something like this for a while because writing stuff like this on my main blog somehow doesn't seem pc enough? (seeing how we're always told to remember that we live in a multi-racial multi-religious society where our views should not be imposed on everyone so that's the reason i'm writing it in here so that whoever wants to read it can do so and does who don't, well, don't have to)
so much for the disclaimer
anyway, to just start out the whole purpose of this, at least i hope to fill in stuff that i've learnt while doing my qt, going for cell/service, conversations with people regarding church/religion, and like reflections. i'll probably not update this as often as i do the main blog but at least i feel that writing them in here would be helpful to me and hopefully to others.
when i was in primary school, i was really into going for sunday school and i would look forward to sundays because i liked it. you know how it is, catering to young kids and how sunday school had all those fun activities, especially the musicals "Hark, the Harold Angel". i didn't want to graduate and move to the 3rd service with its strangeness. but i had to because that's what happens when you graduate into secondary school.
i was really lazy at that time so when the church stopped its 8am youth service in that tiny room, i stopped going and went for the adult service. i was too lazy at that point of time to go home without my parents so i didn't go for 3rd service which started and therefore ended at a later time than the adult service. i wasn't used to the loud music that accompanied the more contemporay kind of service. i went for cell in the beginning of sec 1, really eager nonetheless to fit in and try to walk with God. then suddenly i was lazy and i didn't want to go as often and it just didn't seem to me like God was important.
i put Him behind a lot of stuff in sec 2 and 3. and my attendance at even the adult service fluctuated dramatically. it just wasn't important enough to me.
i don't know what changed but in june'03, i went back for 3rd service to give it another try. and i realised how much i needed God and how much i had missed in those few years when i had wandered away. perhaps the incident that made me go back was that Basilia, being in 4L with me, was constantly encouraging me to go for 3rd service. friends do make a difference. but even though i went back, it wasn't complete. and i realised what was missing only at the end of last year, J1, when i went for cell. and since then, i've tried to go for most of the meetings because it complements the church going, not just in making friends but in the walk with the Lord. you can never walk alone, it's hard to do so by yourself because you never know when you might lose faith or get tired and then wander off.
i really thank the Lord that He's given me the chance to see how life was with Him and without Him. i believe that He had a purpose when He allowed me to walk away (not entirely away-semi) and that was to see the difference between having Him in my life and without Him. i mean, i prayed but it wasn't regular and it seemed as though i was always asking for things--last time. He's given me so much and i hope that each day i'll mature and grow closer in my walk with God.
He IS important. and it does matter. He matters.
christine danced till dawn at 9:06 AM
